For those who don't know, every Tuesday on Twitter, there is a contest to see who has the best boobs. Tuesday is known as Titty Tuesday and it's the day to celebrate boobs on the popular networking site.
During the week I was away from Twitter, a few of my followers mentioned to the creator of Titty Tuesday that I could take the crown. I'm known for my tits and have been since I was about 11 years old. These tits have gotten me free stuff, discounts, jobs, and 97% of my friendships started because of my tits. Try as you might (in hopes of sounding like less of a perv), you will NOT prove me wrong in this theory. The roots to the majority of my friendships trace back to my breasts. It doesn't make you a tool. No worries.
In the middle of the night on Monday, I got a direct message from BlackSoap247 stating the following:
This is the link www.poll4you.com/showpoll.php?id=22068&type=link make sure you add this to the beggining of the link----> http://
da fuck was he talking about?
THIS was what he was talking about...
I was HORRIFIED!! Sure, my tits are pretty amazing and have been voted by all sex partners, boyfriends, flings, flirts, etc. as the best ever, but could they really go up against these girls in a Titty Tuesday contest?
JuiCybella
bustynexotic
philothea_ks
StephyC_
DeeFamouSs
preTTyxLushY
I guess BlackSoap247 took it upon himself to add me to the Titty Tuesday polls.
While I personally know that I have amazing tits, I have a hard time facing rejection and I knew that this was more of a popularity contest...especially since the previous Titty Tuesday crown holder was a professional model with
I'd never want to publicly put my tits on display in such a classless way either. I felt like a day shift waitress at a truck stop titty bar getting ready to hang up my apron and have a naked jello fight with the other waitresses while sweaty men watched and cheered us on.
I tried to make myself feel better by saying that the only pic they were judging me on was one that just showed me in my REAL BOOBS t-shirt...with no cleavage and not even any side boob. If I won, I'd be taking a stand against showing your puppies to the world. I'd prove that women could have great boobs without baring it all! Then I said, hey it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so why not make it interesting and promise a donation to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation if I won.
Before noon, I was in the lead...like way, WAY in the lead! Vote after vote came! It was insane! I was so excited and pumped for the Titty Tuesday crown. I monitored the votes, posted the link for others to vote, and watched as others retweeted the link in hopes that I'd win the crown.
I couldn't concentrate on anything else but winning! I posted the link on Facebook, Myspace, blogs....I even emailed it to my grandma and her church friends!
I was wayyy in the lead with nobody coming close to me winning until JuiCybella caught up with me! WHAT THE HELL!? As it turns out, she didn't know she was entered in the Titty Tuesday contest so she started campaigning late.
We went back and forth fighting over the title with tied results...her up by 4 votes...then me up by 12...her up by 6...me up by 9. It was a close race and we begged our followers to VOTE VOTE VOTE!! It was hard because we shared some of the same followers who had to make the tough decision of choosing between us.
The polls were set to close at midnight. I kept refreshing the polls, but sooner or later, I realized I was losing and all hope was lost.............
The next morning, people tweeted their anger over me not winning and one angry voter even managed to put out a hilarious blog-entry about a do-over >>>CLICK HERE<<<
While it was fun, I think I'm ready to retire from Titty Tuesday. Thanks to all who voted, retweeted, blogged, and supported my mission. Sasha and Cupcake (my tits) will always be winners in the hearts of many! I'm not a sore loser, and I donated to the Susan G. Komen Foundation anyway. Feel free to make a contribution also by clicking on my wet t-shirt picture!
seriously...stop drooling and click on my picture to donate PERV!!
PS - none of the other contestants can say that JLo talked about their breast size on Letterman! WOOT!! 2:50 mark -- this show was taped a couple of days after JLo saw my bra for the first time (also, no one has ever thrown underwear. she's sadly mistaken)
You mean there was an open forum for me to pledge my undying love for your breasts...uh, I mean to support you by voting for you (Whew! nice save) and I missed it...I gotta get back on Twitter more often...crap! Shout out to my girls Sasha and Cupcake!!!
ReplyDeleteSasha and Cupcake... cute... Looks like I need to name my girls although I'm sure they have yet to get over the fact that I let the doctor perform weight loss surgery on them...
ReplyDeleteGreat blog! J. Lo gave you a shout out!? The vid wouldn't play... I gotta search it out...
I'm a newbie to your blog, and I must say I'm impressed. Good to see that all that talking you do on Twitter is used elsewhere too! Lol! I do agree with you about not having to share your tits with the world in order to get reconition (its nice to tease every now and then though). This contest was stupid as hell anyway, wasn't like you actually won anything!
ReplyDelete@Jarratt - LMAO!! lemme find out my BTFF has a crush on Sasha and Cupcake! OWWW!
ReplyDelete@luminoUS - yes name them!! it'll make them feel better about that weight loss surgery. That whore didn't give me a shout out.
Story time: I throw bras to her husband (Marc Anthony) at every concert I go to. that tradition is a long story that I won't bore you with. Anyway, during one of the shows, she was out on the side of the stage and saw my huge bra fly on stage. She peeped out in the audience to see who threw it. A few days later, she went on Letterman. In the video, she's telling Letterman that women always throw huge bras and panties (nobody ever threw panties...just me throwing bras) and surely the woman who throws the bras can't have tits that big. She was saying she thinks the women (ehem me) go out and buy bras that are huge just to get them to land on the stage. FALSE! the bras I throw on stage are actually smaller (cheaper) than my bras :)
@Dame - are you IMPLYING that I tweet too much? HAHA!! indeed, a little nip slip here and there is a great tease, but they don't need to be plastered all over the internets. Thanks for reading and commenting...and for the coffee ;)
Also, this isn't MY blog. I'm just a VERY GRATEFUL bottom-of-the-food-chain contributor every now and then, but feel free to subscribe, read, and comment!
1st...LMAO @ THE Lopez reference!!!!!
ReplyDelete2nd...Your such a good sport for not going into detail on the B.S that went down last week.
It was a classic moment that I'm sure earned you quite a few new fans.
As your BTFF, it's not permissible for me to have a crush on those two...but a fondness and uncondition admiration is perfectly within my rights!!! Lol.
ReplyDelete