Sunday Morning Quarterback – Eli Manning & Rihanna

Going in I was pretty excited for this episode. Firstly I was pumped to finally have a new episode of SNL to watch.  But on another level I was looking forward to seeing what Eli Manning was going to do with the hosting gig. 

Jay1 and I actually talked this episode over a couple times.  And it’s taking everything I have to actually write this up.  But I feel that I owe it to you, the reader, to complete this edition of the Sunday Morning Quarterback. 

(As usual our rating scale)

Phil Hartman – Comedic gold

Chris Farley – Definitely funny, but kinda messy

Norm MacDonald – Funny, but not for everyone

Tim Meadows – Solid Bit

Andy Samberg – Funny, but overstayed it’s welcome

Jim Breuer- Crowd pleaser, but a bit obvious

David Spade – Trying too hard

Chris Elliot – Didn’t click at all, how did it get on

Fox & Friends – And like that, the episode’s off to a bad start.  This bit isn’t funny.  The banter isn’t entertaining.  This is the same bit as the last time they did it, only this time they’re missing the jokes.  I actually think it’s fair to say that the actual Fox & Friends is both more entertaining and funnier. 

Rating: Jim Breuer, David Spade

Monologue – Eli is way still and the fact that he’s trying to force his way though shows he’s extremely uncomfortable.  This guy has no regard for the audience or their response.  The fact that he manages to be self-deprecating about how milquetoast he is a good sign.  Or is it a bad sign? 

Rating: Chris Farley

Fifty Shade of Grey – This commercial was dumb funny.  While the notion of “mommy porn” is sketchy, the compromising positions were hysterical.  And honestly, when is masturbation not funny? 

Rating: Phil Hartman

Madden Motion Capture – Eh, this bit started off predictably with Tebow and it got worse from there.  Again, we’ve got Eli’s being lame as the butt of the joke.  While I dig the notion of Eli having an uninspired imagination, the bit got old and fast.  Keenan’s Ray Lewis didn’t help things either. 

Rating: Andy Samberg

Murder Trial Textimony – Got this sketch started horribly.  It felt like a real trial for the first minute.  Again, I like the idea that, when read, texts sound ridiculous.  I also liked the lameness of Eli’s character.  And I loved the juvenile play between the judge and the defense attorney.  But the internet searches felt unnecessary. 

Rating: Tim Meadows, Andy Samberg

Little Brothers – I didn’t really like this bit.  Obviously Eli’s going to get compared to Peyton when it comes to Saturday Night Live, so they should have tried to either avoid comparisons by going their own way or live up to Peyton’s standard.  They chose neither.  Instead we get this bit about Little Brothers getting revenge.  It was lazy and uninspired. 

Rating: Jim Breuer, David Spade

WXPD News New York – While Herb becoming overtly racist was moderately funny, this is one sketch that could probably be retired.  Also Eli contributed nothing. 

Rating: Jim Breuer

Rihanna Performance #1 – Um, did I miss when Rihanna transformed into a full on smut?  She teased everyone with the intro to a song that she absolutely could not perform and then lip synced to a single.  This felt like the definition of “extra.” 

Weekend Update – Wow the emphasis should be on “weak.”  Was it a slow news week so they writers has no material?  Did the writer feel that because they had Sascha Baron Cohen they could coast in terms of Update?  Who knows, but this week was wack. 

What Is This? – This bit is genius.  Maybe it’s because I’m a guy, but I loved it.  Ambush tv mixed with a game show?  Hilarious.  And Hader’s answers were funny too.  Ryan’s aloofness was golden.  Seriously, this bit is comedy. 

Rating: Phil Hartman

Helga Lately – This was not funny.  And worse than that, it was lazy.  The writers were off for two weeks and they “wrote” this sketch?  That’s the best they could come up with?  The funniest parts of this bit were references to other shows.  I completely get the lameness of Chelsea Lately, but that doesn’t make this sketch any funnier.  What I don’t get, and will never get, is the time that I wasted watching this sketch back. 

Rating: Chris Elliott

Ms. Drag World – This was just a poor excuse to put Eli in a dress.  Horrible. 

Rating: Chris Elliott

Cheech & Chong & Richard – Armisen and Hader were spot on as Cheech and Chong.  But not even their awesomness could save them from the black hole of talent that is Eli Manning.  Eli Manning even sucked at being the lame wet blanket.  This sketch bordered on being meta in that it’s basically an apology for the entire episode.  Still, it sucked. 

Rating: Chris Elliott

Final Thoughts – Honestly, I don’t want to think about this episode any more.  It was horribly and I want this night to be over.