Monday, April 13, 2009

Watch Your Ass!

So some kid was sitting in a chair, minding his own business and the chair exploded, shredding his ass to pieces and killing him. Seriously.

So this is what happend:

A fourteen-year-old boy was killed after the chair he was sitting on exploded, propelling sharp chair parts into his rectum, causing extensive bleeding, which he succumbed to before medical attention could stem the flow.

The accident occurred when the boy was alone, sitting on the chair (which was for PC use); he managed to overcome the pain and call his father, who summoned an ambulance, but it took an hour to get him to hospital, by which time it was too late for him.

The chair in question was a standard gas cylinder type, where the height is regulated by an adjustable cylinder containing highly pressurised gas, and it was this which exploded, sending high velocity chair parts into the posterior of the unfortunate youth.

In fact, it seems a spate of such incidents were reported at the hospital – 3 such injuries caused by exploding chairs were reported this month, perhaps indicating an influx of poorly manufactured chairs into the area. In 2007 a similar accident also propelled a 20cm part into the rear of a 68-year-old man, who suffered a severe 5cm wound; he survived.

The illustrated chair shows the severity of such a cylinder malfunction.

We do not hear where the chair parts in question were made, though of course with the accident occurring in China it is likely there that they were made.

Three factors are implicated in such accidents:

1. The gas in the cylinder is contaminated with gases other than nitrogen.
2. The materials used in the cylinder are deficient, reducing the durability of the part.
3. The cylinder is not completely airtight.

Oil based hydraulic devices are said to be safer, but most such chairs on the market today use gas cylinders; naturally these tend to be made in China, where this accident occurred.

The boy in question weighed 80kg (certainly a fair amount for a 14-year-old Asian youth), which might have been a factor (though this will not reassure heavier framed non-Asian adults); it is suggested that using such chairs without placing excessive pressure on the cylinder is advisable – otherwise sitting on a steel plate might help.
Can you imagine?

I mean, what the hell? You're just sitting there chillin, surfing for porn or reading a stupid blog like this and the pow! litterally.

You can peep the rest of the story Here.

Or a hundred other places on the internet because it's not a new story, it's actually a little over a month and a half old, I meant to post this in February but I didn't get around to it.

But it's interesting, and it's new to some of you. Also, I don't have time to be blogging about new shit right now, you know that Easter candy is like 65 percent off today?!

I'm out.


  1. psssh! I went to Rite Aid (or "Rite Aids" as the colored southern folks say) this morning and they didn't have ANY candy on sale! WTF? where are you finding it?

    Anyway, this blog entry hurts my ass. It's scary because as I'm reading it, all I can imagine is my chair exploding and either ruining my ass or killing me...and I'm not sure which is worse. Can you imagine??? I can't even do ass sex without lube and you're telling me that a sharp object can...OH GOD. this is too much for me. ima go get a folding chair RIGHT NOW!



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