Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The BET Awards were on, and I watched them...



So The BET awards happened and I watched it for you. Not because I wanted to, but because I like to engage in dangerous and stupid endurance challenges every now and then.



Ok, so right off top, this New Edition tribute to the Jackson is kinda cool and sad at the same time. They all sound like shit, they killing the dance moves though.

This opening dance number with Jamie Foxx is awkward. The Opening monologue is awkward too, but kinda dope because it's so blatantly freestyled. I wonder what the theme was supposed to be had Jackson not died...



I like how Tyra Banks is giving away the award for "Best Male Athlete" and "Best Male Hip Hop". What the hell is "Best Male Hip Hop"?

Lebron gets best athlete for some reason, apparently Nike is a sponsor and Kobe is still celebrating.

Here comes Lil Wayne to accept the "Best Male Hip Hop", no other nominees were mentioned, but I think they were Rick Ross, Kanye, T.I., and Souljah Boy or someone equally absurd. I love how Lil Wayne says: "None of us in this room wouldn't be here without Michael Jackson." I was gonna make fun of what's at least a triple negative from Wayne, but he has a New Orleans education for goodness sakes.

These awards are officially awful. Its almost as bad as everyone was bitching about on twitter.

Keri Hilson is hot to me. She could definitely get it. I'm not feeling all this dancing. This is my first time seeing her on stage, she shouldn't be dancing this much, this is not a good look for her. If I managed her, I would have her doing something different on stage.

she asking the crowd to sing and they're not. This extra bullshit at the end of her set is wack.

Neo and his giant head are singing a duet of "Lady in my life", which is an awesome song. Very classy moment of a show that dangerously teetering on "Debacle" level foolishness.

This montage of Michael videos of cool.

wow, Keke can really sing.



"Blame It" is a great song, I don't care what anyone says. I don't know why they keep trying to bleep out certain words, they keep missing and it's stupid.

T-Pain's chain is hilarious. Snoop and Travis Barker are here for some reason. I seriously can't imagine or figure out why.

When did Mcdonalds become "black people food"? I'm tired of their commercials. I've never seen a Mcdonalds cashier that happy or helpful or informative.

It's so easy to hate on Soulja Boy but how could you really. Is that nigga even 21? Fuck it, he's doing his thing. I just hate what he represents I guess.

This Chaka Khan bit is hilarious. I'm not even sure if Estelle and Latoya Luckett get the joke. They're giving out 2 awards, without mentioning the other nominees, this is funny.

Beyonce is smoking hot.




I really just wanna smell Jay Z's finger one time...seriously. Beyonce's photo needs to be put in a time capsule so that people in the year 3000 can see it.

"Skank Robbers" was a really funny bit.

I don't know how I feel about this Mary Mary song. Are they using God to sell music or are they using music to sell God? Whatever. At least its a song I can listen to with my kid.

Zoe Saldana came out by herself because Nichelle Nichols is taking a prune dump or fixing her wig or some shit.

Zoe: "Well, we're gonna get started, Nichele is in the bathroom..."

Damn, that is funny.

Wait, Jamie Foxx again? And Ne-yo? Why are they both performing again, It's not like they didn't alr--Holy Shit where did Keith Sweat come from!?

I'm happy for Keith. Oh wow, here comes Guy. And Aaron Hall sounds like shit, but this is still cool in theory. In practice, this is an argument against reunions in general.

I just wanna say for the record that we here at Fish And Spaghetti predicted that New Jack Swing would be the next big revival. Maybe New Jack Swing was suppossed to be the theme if Mike hadn't died? Who knows.

These Housewives of Atlanta chicks are super wack.

I almost didn't recognize Ciarra. She's not even that good a singer. I'm sure BET just asked everyone "Who knows a Michael Jackson songs?"

The treble is up too high on Keyshia Cole's performance. Here comes Monica, poking her into Keyshia Cole's set, I wish they would make out, that would make this show awesome.

Kanye West's walking, breathing accessory is sexy as hell.

Jeremy Piven is hilarious.

Oh, wait NOW they're gonna start mentioning nominees? Why? Forget it. Who cares. This show is a piece of shit.

Look a Beyonce pretending to care about that stupid award.




"Death Of Auto Tune" is that shit. Jay Z just shut down the whole show just now.



Jamie is chilling up top in the shitty seats with the radio contest winners and they're all acting like assholes and he's scolding them and it's funny.

I swear I thought Don Corniellius was dead. Lol, he just said Al Sharpton would fight a brick if he had to. Corniellius is talking so slow, I've almost completely lost interest in the show all together.

I think I'm young enough to not feel bad about fast forwarding through this "The O-Jay's" tribute. Not that I don't like them, i just don't care about them, and I'm not a fan of any of those dudes singing right now. I have to say, it was funny to hear the crowd gasp when Tevin Cambell was mentioned. I thought he was dead too.

Watching Al Sharpton and Joe Jackson dancing to "For The Love of Money" is really apropos.

Here's the Chairwoman of BET, Debra Lee for some odd reason. Hopefully, this means the show's almost over. I mean, it was funny and everything but this is exhausting.

Alicia Keys is a classy broad. I guess.

Her humanitarian award is almost enough to make me forget that she wrecked that ladies marriage. I guess she's the black Angelina Jolie: She's sexy, she's talented, she destroyed a marriage and she's a humanitarian. Nice.

This "Baby Boy" bit they're doing is kinda funny. It's going on for way too long though.

Alright, and here goes, Maxwell to wrap the show up, hopefully, please God.

No wait, here's Drake and Lil Wayne serenading a bunch of 12 year olds, and my DVR just cut the show off. Great.

I heard later that Janet Jackson came out and said something and that Joe Jackson was up there promoting his new label of some crazy, tacky, classless shit. I really wanted to see that though.

Here's a clip of him talking to CNN on the red carpet and I have to say he seems crazy as hell.



So, yeah, that's it.

At the end of the day, there were some hilarious moments, some bad moments, some good moments and some hilariously bad moments that were so bad they were good. And who would have expected anything otherwise from this award show.

By the way, after seeing Keith Sweat, Aaron Hall, New Edition, and Tevin Campbell, I don't know why they didn't just cart Michaels dead body out there too. I mean, since they were already exhuming corpses and everything. I'm just saying.

Goodnight everyone!

16 comments:

  1. Ugh, this year's show was SO bad.
    The best part for me was Hov's performance, mentally going lesbian for Bey (yeah I said it) and the Tyrese/Johnny Gill/Trey Songz performance for the O'Jays.

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  2. this was a horrible display of anything that could be displayed. dont get me wrong i love michael jackson just as much as most other people in this world, but i feel like they should have left it at a moment of silence and saved the REAL tribute for a concert instead of turning a coonfest into a tribute event. althought it was interesting and the baby boy bit did have me laughing but i certainly don't feel like i missed much; True Blood and Hung were much more entertaining

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  3. I cant believe you watched that whole piece of shit show, youre stronger than me..LOL

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  4. they were shitty, but y'all sound mad. i wasn't really mad at the show. you gotta keep in mind that they basically had a day to prep for the show. with that said, you gotta cut it a little tiny bit of slack.

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  5. I missed it, but my followers on twitter kept me updated while on my bus ride back home. gonna watch it tonight and THEN read this post.

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  6. ok you made me laugh soooo hard
    im at work and people are lookin at me like i am crazy
    you have the funniest bet award post so far that i have read

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  7. Wow, that was s really good synopsis and I hae to admit afterwards, I realized I may have missed soem good performances and may try to watch a repeat. But you summed it up well. Maybe they didn't have enough time to put a classier event together. Oh well. I know they meant well.

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  8. ok I just tuned in starting with Lil Wayne....
    *cringe* my english isn't perfect, but damn.

    these commercials are kinda long, not sure if I wanna waste 3 hours on a work night to watch. maybe this weekend...of course the moment wil--oh wait, it's back on.

    who is Keri Hilson? wow I hope no one with epilepsy is watching. oh I've heard this song before. Rihanna, anyone? so much for being original. bored with this performance. Wish I could fast forward. looks like everyone is gonna incorporate MJ into their performances. she should stop.

    I wonder what this show would've been like had Mike been....PUT THAT HAT BACK ON NE-YO!! Ne-yo is doing a good j--hold on, my phone is ringing. it's Malcolm X from the grave asking for his glasses back.
    ok so yea...definitely gonna have to youtube his performance, download it and add it to my ipod. damn it was short. nevermind.

    commercial break.

    ok KeKe...go 'head (said like the hood church ladies).

    Jamie Foxx is performing. I'm picturing Wanda. damn my phone is ringing again. the caller ID says Blackstreet. I know what they're calling for. fucking auto tune.
    if anyone knows what Snoop is doing besides standing there high as a kite, let me know. there's a prize for the answer.
    I had a crush on Travis Barker back in the day.

    TINY AND TOYA NEED TO BE PUNCHED IN THE THROAT! WHAT IS THIS GARBAGE!? WHYYYYY?! I'm sorry, but the Flavor of Love girls did more than enough damage to the imagine of black women. we don't need your help! ok? thanks!

    ok Frankie and Nefee make Tiny and Toya look like Michelle Obama and Condoleezza Rice.

    Drake...anyone got some tweezers?

    oh Soldier Boy SMFH! really? I just...how...wait, what? ok I'm done with this show.

    FUCK IT.

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  9. sike. DA FUCK IS ESTELLE WEARING ON HER HAND? your MJ tribute looks stupid. sit down.
    I like British accents and slang.

    T-PAIN'S TACKY ASS WOULD BE THE ONE TO COME ON THE STAGE WITH THAT DUMB ASS RED BASEMENT PARTY CUP! I bet his simple ass is drinking red kool aid! "this for mike!"
    Michael has his own awards. he doesn't want yours. disgraceful dickwad.

    Fabolous annoys me because he can't spell. what would be his excuse for spelling his name wrong? it's not cool or unique. I KNOW that shit was an error. not an error in judgment. it was an error in spelling and somebody shoulda told him that shit wasn't cute. all these damn kids out here misspelling fabulous because of him. then to make matters worse, his simple ass used to spell it out in EVERY song! a name like Fabulous deserves 2 snaps and a twist!

    who are these 3 guys? what's going on? GET ON WITH THE SHOWWWWWWWWW!!

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  10. UGH Beyfuckigonce! I hate (yes, HATE) her ass. yep, I'm drinking cherry flavored hateraid with a Grinch silly straw. why is she BUTCHERING Ave Maria with these dumb fuck ass stupid lyrics? IS THIS A FUCKING DISNEY MOVIE?!? WHAT IS THIS? IS THIS REAL LIFE? I've been sucked into a scary disney movie featuring a drag queen bride. There's my phone again. it's like a hot line. Madonna is calling. she wants her bride on stage bit back. another call on the other line, it's Celine Dion saying YOU WISH! I'm receiving a text message from Aaron Neville. he just called you a cunt.
    ok she just said "Aray Maria". idiot!
    now she's singing the sad song from the Sarah McLachlan animal cruelty commercial ugh!
    ok she decided to pick it up at the end of the performance and it sounds beautiful. too bad she waited until the VERY END to put on a good performance. NEXT!

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I really need skank robbers to come out! why must they tease me? it woulda been hot! looks like Wanda made an upgrade.

    Mary, Mary--there's something wrong with a gospel song having a slight Blame It beat. no. this is wrong. Gospel must always have an organist doing his thing, not rap, not "fresh, clean, sweet" in the lyrics and NOT painted on leather pants!

    I like Nichelle Nichol. I was named after her (my middle name). Zoe Saldana has grown on me.

    I lovvvvvvve Taraji's hood ass! she's so awesome. look at her! ghetto mess. yea, BET plays Baby Boy like every 3 days.

    Keri Hilson just won something. blah...get on with the show!
    I'm glad I'm not from Georgia.

    again with Jamie Fox. *YAWN*
    I like the original Miss Independent song...but guys can sit the fuck down if they think they're gonna get some independence from me. Ne-Yo better stop filling the heads of these men. nah I'm kidding. I'm pretty independent...unless it's time to take out the trash, put anything together, pump gas, or lift heavy items. Fabolous. UGH!

    they betta stop! KEITHHH!! oh man!! go 'head Keith!
    That lady from the View has big tits.
    I seriously can't believe I'm watching Keith Sweat's whining ass. I love him. my dad does an awesome Keith Sweat impersonation.

    New Jack Swing...HOLY SHIT! Look at Aaron Hall...damn! I agree, Aaron Hall sounds like he's about to cough up a hair ball. I have Gloria Velez on line one. she says you better forward the check to her.

    ew remember when Ginuwine and Sole were hot?

    BBD!!!!!!!! GET OUT!! This brings back memoriessss! I had a crush on the chunky one...Ricky.
    Drake needs a tan.
    OH SHIT! I am loving this! if they bring out New Edition, I'll die!
    aawww BOO! no new edition!

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  11. Ray J and the Real Housewives. is NeNe really a dude?

    LMAO@ "Who knows a Michael Jackson songs?" HAHAHA I agree!!
    Cierra should stick to being Wanda Sykes' good dancing little sister and shut the fuck up. I put on better concerts in the bathroom using my hair brush as the mic. Michael is giving her the side eye.

    oh Paula Patton...why?

    did he say something about Keyshia Cole and Frankie? Frankie's cracked out ass better be in the audience sitting down...or sucking on a crack pipe back stage.

    Keyshia Cole has a nice voice. her and Monica don't match. it looks weird.
    Monica's head is about to fall off. I like her though.

    Amber Rose is hot. I like her style and it makes me feel guilty...like I should bathe or go to the free clinic. why is she wearing those big glass after-eye-surgery sunglasses?

    story time with Jamie Foxx...oh this is actually a heartwarming story. damnit I'm gonna cry now.

    Marlon and Jeremy...ewww Joe Jackson looks like a retired drag queen.

    best female artist...yawnnnn! Be-over-exposed will win this. this show isn't being consistence. It's very sloppy.
    Beyonce's mom looks like a witch. Beyonce is a horrid actress. NEXT! BYE BITCH! NEXT!

    Jay Z...quality music. Beyonce aint know the lyrics. she should just sit there and be a trophy wife and not try to rap the words with him. disgrace.

    GHETTO ASS PEOPLE at the top with Jamie Foxx. who knocked down the camera man? you can take these bitches out of the ghetto.....

    Day 26.... meh

    Love, Peace, and SOUL! Don Cornelious. he's old as hell! wasn't he arrested for beating his jump off's ass recently? fight a brick LOL
    I looked away from the screen. how was Al Sharpton's hair?

    Tevin fucking Campbell! he was at pride in nyc over the weekend. he sure flew to LA quick. BET didn't spend much on this show. half of these folks will get on stage just to have their next cell phone payment paid and a double-double burger from In & Out.
    I miss the way these old school guys used to dance though.
    JOHNNY GILL!!!!!!!!! I thought he died!
    Tyrese was reading the lyrics hahahaha


    what are the ojays babbling about? crazy how Eddie has buried of his 3 kids. Ray J dancing like the white guy at an all black office party.

    They are STILL performing. fuck this show. fuck it! I'm reading the rest of this blog entry and turning it off.

    Alicia is definitely the blackish Angelina Jolie. it's disgraceful to me...then again, I'm not the poster child for fidelity.

    blah blah blah....OMGGG!! The last sentence in this post made me piss my pants a little!! HILARIOUS! gotta go change now.

    not spell checking this cuz I doubt anyone has the patience to read it, I don't care, and if Fabolous can butcher his name, I can make a few typos.

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  12. LMAO..this was funny as hell but true..they would of been better off leaving the show the way it was and just mentioning him and showing some videos of him..Waiting about a month to do the show the RIGHT way in honor of him would not of hurt anyone..But this show was painful to watch..Yes it was...Nice post..MyNikky

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  13. I am so late commenting this the night the awards came on I knew you were gunna have a post you always have a post about these shows lol I love it.

    People slept on beyonces performance, I thought it was beautiful. I don't think it was what everyone expected her to do, i'm sure they wanted her to bust out with single ladies or ego or some corny shit like that but overall she was pretty classy. I watched the show on and off...ehh..I did think it was hilarious how there weren't enough celebrities so they had to say two awards at once and sometimes they didn't even say nominees lol BET is some trash point blank period.

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  14. @ Dirty Russian - I hate BET as much as the next mulatto (it embarrasses both halves) but you've really got to cut BET some slack. MJ was honored by New Edition, Ne-yo and his dome, Ciara and Jamie Foxx, that's at least 20 minutes added to the show right there. Plus you had the Jackson memories and conservatively you've got an extra half hour added to a show that was already packed.

    That's why I think the ignoring of the nominees and having presenters give out multiple awards was just a time saving measure. You can't really bump any of the performances or the O'Jay's tribute, so you've got to cut time where you can.

    By far the best moment of the night for me was Jay-1 busting out an Aaron Neville impression I never even knew he had. That s#it had me in stitches.

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  15. I hate black people.....is what I want to say sometimes when I watch BET. I cut them no slack for that horrible show despite the heartfelt tributes, and shame on Michael Jackson for not letting Viacom know when he was gonna die.

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  16. SO I'm way late...sorry J, but it's been alot of shit going on. First MJ, then this BET trainwreck, then Air McNair...then this fukn Florida hangover from this weekend...

    Anyways, the show blew, we didn't expect anything else. Honestly, I had to throw the remote down or have my girl hide it so I wouldn't turn it off. I was embarrassed most of the time, but thankful that I didn't suggest to anyone to watch it. But I felt obligated to watch it just so I was aware of what was going on...just in case I had to defend the entire Race if asked a dumb-ass question from a co-worker. It's just sad to see so many people waste their brain cells and money to support anything BET does or represents.

    BUT on a positive note while watching the show, talking shit about the show on Facebook with all of Black America who doesn't fuk with anything that's on BET, was absolutely PRICELESS!! It still comforts me to know that these artists, BET, and every other televised, published, or recorded stereotype that appears to represent us, doesn't.

    I only fukd with Jay-Z, The OJays, Maxwell, and every ass of the real ATL wives :)

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