Friday, July 9, 2010
Employee Of The Month...
That's his new nick name as far as we're concerned.
Not "King James" or "Chosen One" or whatever the hell else he wanted to be called because last night, after a year of speculation and rumors and waiting, Lebron decided (in front of a nationally televised audience) to JOIN forces with Dwyane Wade, an NBA championship winner and a player who many would argue is his athletic and professional superior.
He works for D-Wade now.
I imagine that it went something like this:
Lebron: "Hey Wade, it's cool how we're all about to be free agents right?!"
DWade: "I guess".
Lebron: "Wouldn't it be cool if you, me and Chris Bosh were all on the same team?"
DWade: "Yeah, that would be cool".
Lebron: "Yeah, and I was thinking, I got a pretty decent team over hear in Cleveland."
Lebron: "I mean, we had the best record in the regular season and we were predicted to win it all."
Lebron: "And we're gonna be coached by Byron Scott next year, he's won championships and what not".
Lebron: "And I was born and raised here, and like, my family is here and I went to High School here and I kinda sorta promised this town a championship, it would be like the first first championship this town has won since the 60's"
DWade: "Where you going with this homie?"
Lebron: "I was just kinda wondering, like since we're all free agents and all and we can go to any team we want...heck, I'll just say it, would you and Chris Bosh like to join me in Cleveland? We got a heck of a coach, you'll probably have to take a pay cut but I'm sure we could work something out?!"
DWade: "Nah, I'm good, I like Miami, I'm kind of like the king out here, I've already brought this town a championship, the weathers nice and...
Lebron: Ok, ok, ok, here me out. How bout instead of that we all go to New York? It's a huge market, they can afford to give both of us NBA maximum salaries and we'd get huge indorsement deals? can you imagine, you and me in the mecca of basketball, it would be...
DWade: "Nah, not really feeling that either homie."
Lebron: "Ok, what would you like?"
DWade: "Tell you what, why don't you and Bosh both come join MY team? We could use you, you'd fit in nice over here."
Lebron: "Yeah, I kinda don't want to be looked at as someone who left my home town to join you. You already have a championship, don't you think that makes me look kinda pathetic? Isn't that me kinda bowing down to you? Isn't that a major sign that I lack the ability to persevere?"
DWade: "You could say that, everyone's gonna say that, but it's so sunny and nice out here".
Lebron: "It is, but how can I be a 'King' if I become a supporting cast member to a movement you've already set in motion?"
DWade: "You can't. It's really sunny and nice out here though".
Lebron: "That's true. Plus I'll still get that league maximum right?"
Lebron: "So I have to renounce my Kingdom, move to where you're at, be the "Scottie Pippen" to your "Michael Jordan" and take less money than I would If I stayed with my home town team? The team I promised a championship to? In the town that hasn't won anything in almost 50 years?"
DWade: "Pretty much."
Lebron: "OK, cool, see you on the beach!"
I'm kinda excited to see them play together, I can't front, but I'm mostly just glad that everyone can finally see James for the clown he really is. This is a really lame, pussy move.
Dude is super over rated, he's a really strong, really fast, high leaping player who's exciting to watch.
Not a real champion.
Can we all collectively stop celebrating this overhyped, modern day version of Dominique Wilkins already? Please.