Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Five Things I Learned From a Marathon Viewing of Oscar Nominated Films

On Saturday I took a trip to White Marsh to experience AMC's Best Picture Showcase. Basically it's all ten films nominated for Best Picture shown on the two Saturday's before the Oscars.

I was in that theater for 11 1/2 hours. I learned quite a few things, about life, about myself. I also learned that hitting the concession stand at 7:45 pm on a Saturday night is a fools errand.

But I learned quite a few things from the movies themselves:

I went to college wrong.  

In Toy Story 3 as Andy departs for college he moves into adulthood and sheds his childish things.  I did none of that stuff.  I've still got video games, comic books and toys.  Clearly college didn't take.  But I am considering going to grad school to try to right the ship.

Always leave a note.

The only way 127 Hours could have been a more heavy handed* meditation on the courtesy of leaving a note would be if it had been directed by George Bluth and starred J. Walter Weatherman.  (* get it? Heavy Handed? HE CUTS OFF HIS OWN ARM!)

The only thing worse than being selfish is attempting to do the right thing for selfish reasons.

In The Kids are All Right, Paul lives a life that is his own. But then he thinks he wants a different life, so he tries to take one, under the guise of doing the right thing. Naturally things go horribly wrong. Rest assured, I'll never try to do the right thing.

Sure revenge is sweet, but it comes at a cost

True Grit is a pretty classy revenge story, but it's a revenge story nonetheless.  Mattie Ross avenges her father's murder, but it costs her her innocence...and something else too.  I'm a fan of revenge, but True Grit has me geuninely considering it's cost.

I want Christian Bale to play me in my biopic

Ok, so, Bale's not Black or even half-Black and no one's been able to pull off classy Blackface since Lethal Weapon 5. Plus I haven't really done anything momentous yet.  Despite all this, I'm 100% sure that Christian Bale could pull off bringing my life to the big screen. In The Fighter he totally pulled off crack addict, mulatto blogger should be a breeze.

Next Saturday I'll be doing it again with Black Swan, The Social Network, The King's Speech Winter's Bone and Inception.

I've got to say that I'm a bit scared what I might possibly pick up from that next batch of nominees.

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