Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Over The Line...

It's been a very busy few weeks but Serena Williams' verbal undressing of a U.S. Open official (after calling a foot fault on her at the most crucial time of the match) and the public backlash that has followed warrants an official Fish And Spaghetti response.

More specifically, I wanted to address the comments made along the lines of those published by a 12 sandwich eating, M.J. D-riding, Kansas City based Journalist.

First of all, the call was completely absurd. Now , I'm not claiming to be a tennis expert by any means, but I am a sports junky and have been a tennis fan for about 20 years and I occasionally grace local courts with my presence, so I do feel that my opinion is at least somewhat creditable.

To put it in perspective, this woman made a call in the Semifinals of a Grandslam event on the best player in the world (regardless of her number two ranking), enforcing a rule in which I personally have rarely witnessed being called over the last two decades. A call, mind you, that inevitably cost her any chance of staging a comeback and put her down two match points! Not to mention, the purse of over a million dollars that the U.S. Open singles champion takes home for winning this two week event!

Now I don't know about you, but I would put the boots to anyone that attempted to steal my 74 Super-beetle, so someone reaching in my pocket to pull out over 1.2 million deserves any verbal response that I deem warranted (not to mention a double dose of the Jimmy Conway)!

But for the non-tennis fans out there that still don't quite get it, I'll paint an even clearer picture for you: Kobe or Lebron is at the free-throw line in game seven of the NBA Conference Finals. Their respective team is down one point, with two seconds on the clock and they need this last point to force overtime. Imagine if the referee called a ten second violation or claimed that a fraction of their shoe touched the free-throw line.

This was that kind of call!

Absolutely unbelievable. So what type of response would you expect from either of them?

She has been fined and made her apology and that should be the end of it. Yet, people continue to sit back, pass their judgments and publicly crucify her.

But more specifically, she has to deal with the ever hating media that salivates anytime anyone commits the slightest human error. Comments like those of Mr. Jason Whitlock

He, on more than one occasion, has expressed his disdain for Serena, recently calling her "cowardice" and referring to her as "over-sized, underachieving, loud mouth."

Now, forgive me if I am mistaken, but winning 11 Grandslam singles titles and 10 doubles titles before reaching the age of 30 doesn't sound like the resume of an underachiever to me.

And as for her weight, don't most naturally thick women, in some way or another, fluctuate between 10-15 pounds?

And speaking for most heterosexual men in the world, we LOVE it!

I guess I would have to pose the question of what planet is this brotha from ? What right does he have to knock someone that has accomplished so much? Simply because he feels that she isn't as committed to her craft as she should be?

She chooses to maintain a life outside of what! Isn't that her prerogative?

Before I get ahead of myself, for those of you who aren't familiar with Whitlock, lets just say that he could never be mistaken for thin, in shape, or handsome. As a matter of fact, I believe that he recently slimmed down to a trim 350.

So when he sarcastically comments about Serena's "size 16 shorts", I can't help but wonder where that comes from?

Was he the nonathletic, fat kid in high school, that sadly possessed man boobs? Or maybe he was the friendless chap that decided to spend his Friday nights in the families guest bathroom getting to know himself rather than attending sporting events, parties and dances.

Did people refer to him as the Kool-Aid Man whenever he wore red? Well whatever it was, I'm sure that the popular chicks were much more into guys like the Hoochie Twins, which left a terrible scar on Jason Whitlock and his self esteem. But now, with the power of his pen, he has an avenue to payback all who have wronged him.

Unfortunately, what is most offensive about Whitlock is that as outspoken as he was regarding Serena's emotional outburst, he was equally as quick to come to the defensive of Michael Jordan and his embarrassing Hall of Fame speech when critics, justifiably, ripped him.

M.J. is the king and always will be, but considering the moment, he made himself look foolish, petty and extremely inarticulate. He is the greatest of all-time and we all know it, and there is definitely a place and time for him to express his discontent for everyone that doubted his abilities or slighted him during the course of his life, but he simply chose the wrong time.

He should write another book or something, but I think that I speak for millions when I say that on such a momentous occasion, I don't want to hear how his little league baseball coach should have let him bat clean up or how his high school prom date should have known to give him some because one day he was going to grow into those ears and change the game of basketball forever (or whatever the hell he was up there talking about).

Had that speech come from Serena, Whitlock would have torn her a new one, yet, instead, he praised the out of line legend for being honest!


But I do get it. Michael Jordan remains untouchable, even in retirement, and a man such as Jason would not dare cross him, it is much safer to keep shoveling the same non sense about Serena that he has been shoveling for years now.

Whitlock, she isn't fat, you are.

She isn't a coward, you are. She may be a bit of a loud mouth, but you are an even bigger loud mouth (and that is meant literally as well as figuratively). Now lets as for that underachieving thing you spoke of: 21 total Grandslam Titles, multiple endorsement deals, own fashion line, etc. vs. newspaper writer that made a few cameos on ESPN? You probably need to deal with your issues brotha and find a new woman to pick on, maybe the lady that replaced you on the Sports Reporters.

As for everyone else, I really think that the fact that celebrities and athletes get such special treatment throughout their lives causes to the rest of us to sort justify them being mistreated by the media as just something that "comes with the territory."

That is a really dangerous way to think. What is forgotten is that they are people, with normal human emotions and feelings, weaknesses and insecurities. They make the same mistakes that we do, theirs are just for the world to see and pick apart. When it comes down to it, who cares about Serena yelling at an official, she had it coming.

Just like the guy that cut you off in traffic this morning had it coming when you flipped him off and mouthed F@#K YOU to him!

Or at least, that's my opinion.


  1. 100% Co-Signature!!!

    That ass Whitlock never ceases to amaze me....

  2. damn serena is fine!
    whitlock is a fat clown F him!

  3. I'd sell my first born to have an ass like that.



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