Sunday, November 20, 2011

Remembering - My Innocence

A little warning - the following post has some graphic images.  If you don't want to have the last vestiges of your childhood ripped from you, I highly suggest that you avoid this post.

You don't want to "read more."  It's shocking and it's something that you'll never forget.  In fact I'm typing this at 3:30 in the morning, because I'm still scarred by the image that I saw a couple hours ago.

Ok, you've been warned.  

So, I was watching Saturday Night Live this week (you can check out the Sunday Morning Quarterback over here) and I immediately wondered if the Muppets were going to show up on the episode.

Jason Segel is responsible for bringing the Muppets back into the public consciousness and he was on SNL to promote the movie.  Plus The Muppets had actually appeared on SNL back in the early days of the show.

It seemed reasonable right?

So when the popped up on the monologue, I wasn't super surprised.  Now I'm old school enough to be able to hear the difference between Jim Henson's Kermit and whoever is doing Kermit now.  I've got my biases and I wear them on my sleeve.  But I was still happy to see them.

I'm a fan of Fozzie and Rowlf.  And I'm cool with Scooter and Gonzo.  I was pretty slayed to see Waldorf and Statler, who are two of my favorite Muppets of all time.

As I was watching Kermit and company sing along with Jason Segel, I realized that the "Muppet magic" was still very much alive in me.  I could clearly see that Kermit's mouth was opening and closing, but there was no way it was making actual words, yet I still believed it.  I didn't see them as objects being operated by puppeteers.  I saw them as actual entities.

And less than 90 minutes later that illusion was shattered when I saw this;

Are you kidding me?  I'm completely understand that the guys who make the Muppets come to life want to have their moment in the light, but, c'mon, could I have gotten a warning that I was going to see someone wearing Rowlf as a fucking poncho?

What the fuck?  What kind of bullshit is that?  Who pulls a stunt like that?  Like, that's not some shit that you can un-fucking-see. I'm going to be stuck with that image for some time. I might as well have it tattooed on the inside of my eyelids, because that's all I'm ever going to see when I close my eyes.

Rowlf, the Poncho. I think I'm going to be sick.

I'm devastated.

I'm hurt.

I'm tired, but I'm afraid to go to sleep.

That image is going to haunt me and it's something that I'll never forget.

Way to ruin my life and rob me of my innocence.

Seriously, what kind of garbage is that?!

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