Friday, July 22, 2011

The Safeway in Charles Village Sucks Balls

When I first moved into my swinging bachelor pad I was pretty overjoyed to have a grocery store directly across the street.  The closest store to my pervious residence was a ways down the road, which made it barely convenient.

But now I had a Safeway that was literally a hop, a skip and a jump away from where I laid my head.   It should have been glorious, but as with most dreams come true, it quickly became a nightmare.

My Safeway never keeps anything new.

It will literally get something new, like say Jalapeño Sun Chips or Creamy Mediterranean Herb Lay's, sell out of it and the product will never been seen again.  It's like they tease you; here's something new and awesome...and now you're never going to see it again.

Can you imagine how frustrating that is, to a perpetual snacker like I am?  It's ridiculous.  That's no way to run a business.  Sure drug dealers give you a taste for free and then charge you once your hooked, but at least they keep a steady supply.  Safeway, not so much.

They do have the bare necessities.  Here are some things that I know I can find where I go to Safeway; water, laundry detergent, pasta and shaving cream.  That's pretty much all that I'm guaranteed to find on any given shopping trip.

If I want ice cream there's a 68% chance that there's only going to be sucky flavors and they'll be frosted over.  If I want chips chances are the only flavors available will be low fat.   If I'm craving an avocado they'll either be ripe and expensive or inexpensive and a week away from being edible.

I know for a fact that Ben & Jerry's has two Limited Batch flavors that have yet to make an appearance at Safeway.  And if you're eager to try Tostitos "Hint of" anything other than lime, you're out of luck.

My Safeway has the selection of a Mom 'n Pop operation in the Midwest.  And I'm in Charles Village!  This is supposed to be one of the trendier neighborhoods in Baltimore.  What the hell?!

I guess I should be grateful; what it lacks in selection it makes up for in convenience.  Going to the store is never a hassle, but finding what you're looking for is.

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