Thursday, January 29, 2009
Like, it's so bad it's good. Litterally, you can find every bad Hip Hop video cliché in here.
Anyways, he had a pretty interesting photoshop/art collection on his blog today that's the work of Sergei Larenkov of Fima-Psuchopadt.
Somehow though, it's become a medium for boutique artist to test how ostentatious they can make this thing look.
Monday, January 26, 2009
So, in the last 24 hours I watched the entire fourth season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and in all honesty it was time well spent. Ok, it might not have been "well spent" but it was a truly enjoyable slew of hours.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Now that we're all caught up, here goes my inaugural review:
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I was actually watching Futurama on comedy central before I found out that a big ass party was going down on the TV and as soon as I flipped to the channel I saw the
I realize that this show has been on for a while and I missed a big Obama speech or something.
I left TV on that channel and a few things occured to me. In this order:
1.I wonder if it bothers Beyonce to sing this song now, because that movie was such a flop I'm sure that the embarrassment of that movie is now linked to that song for her like it is for me. The Obamas look like a happy couple and that's dope.
Also Beyonce's nipples are LUNGING out at me, seriously, click the picture for a larger view if you don't believe me. The hell is that dress made of?
2.Jaime Fox seems drunk. I wonder if he's drunk. Oh look, it only took him 20 seconds to make an inappropriate joke about Obama's blackness. Great.
3.Man Stevie Wonder lost all the hair on top of his head but he's still rocking the braids or dreads or whatever that is. If he could see, I bet he would've shaved his head by now. I think letting him walk around like that is criminal, his handlers should be ashamed.
4.There are too many people singing "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" right now.
Also, I don't think I've ever wanted Mary J. Blidge more than I do right this moment.
6.Wowzers, there's a super bad mulatress named Spirit being interviewed. Apparently, her mom was part of the little rock 9 and she's talking about how she won an essay writing contest to be here tonight. she got a big ol' wide navel that I can see through her dress. those are the types of human flaws I find hot. (this post was delayed for hours because I was busy looking for a picture of this broad)
7.Ray Romano? He still does stand up? Wow, he's bombing hard, also I just saw a really hard edit, I think he said an off color joke that got cut. He's REALLY bombing. This is a train wreck.
8. Jesus, here's Jay-Z, with a live band, singing a wack song I've never heard. Why is he telling people to put their lighters in the air? Surely all lighters were confiscated on the way in.
9.Ok, Jay-Z and these fucking glasses. What the fuck already? Who is dressing this dude? Clearly he's surrounded by yes men. Or maybe he's trying to force some sort of trend. Maybe every one's wearing these stupid glasses and I didn't notice, maybe I'm the one who's bugging.
10.No, he looks stupid. And this song is boring. The "Put your lighters up" being part of the chorus but not a single lighter being put up is hysterical. I remember reading that Obama is a Jay-Z fan and is able to quote his "American Gangster" album. I wonder if he likes that "My President Is Black" song, I don't have a problem with that song, I just think it sounds like Jay-Z pulled that verse out of his ass and the whole "My president is black/My Car is Blue..." thing is fucking absurd. Honestly, that can't be the type of Hip Hop we're gonna be dedicating to the first black president. And the glasses seriously, what is that?
11.Alicia Key's is just great. I just wanna smell the fingers of whatever guy or allegedly girl gets to regularly kiss her goodnight.
12.What's all this then?! 15 weirdos on trampoline shoes? I put on a tux for this? How much is this costing the American people again? Fox News is gonna have a field day with this.
13. Great, Shakira, singing a song I've never heard in my life, this whole party has officially Jumped The Shark.
14.Obama's being interviewed by TNT's Sheryl Miller. Oh wait, my bad.
15.Vanessa Williams is a Milf-and-a-half
and she's introducing...
16.Dear God, it's Stevie Wonder and his giant head. Singing something off the B-Side of The Woman in Read Apparently. No wait, is this a new song? Whatever.
17.God bless Stevie for keeping the harmonica alive. Like who else besides him, Beck and John Popper even still knows how to play that thing.
18.And speaking of Stevie, Why the hell is Stevie doing Celebrity Dance club or whatever that is? He can't possibly be in need of money. What lifestyle is he trying to keep up? He could live in a studio apartment and not know the difference. Honestly.
19.I'm dying for one of those Dominoes Pizza sandwiches, I heard they're gross, but I gotta try one.
20.Leonardo DiCaprio looks crazy uncomfortable the way he's all smushed into the crowd like that. That one dude is breathing down his kneck hard.
Also, I'm now convinced that Obama is a mutant and his mutant super power is clearly the ability to turn A-List celebrities into sycophants.
21.Hey look, it's Joe Bidden, I swear I really forgot that he even existed for a minute. He really lucked out politically. Everyone in the crowd is probably gonna use this opportunity to go pee or smoke, or take a hit of acid or something.
22.Kerry Washington looks stellar, who's she introducing? Faith Hill? C'mon DVR, lets rock.
23.Hey cool, Lucy Liu. Star of "Charlies Angels" and "Charlies Angels 2:Full Throttle"! Awesome!!
And she's introducing Sting and...dear God, Stevie Wonder and his harmonica machine.
24. They're singing "Brand New Day", this must be the finale. I wish Faith would come out so that she and Sting could do a tribute to Biggie. That would be dope in the worst kind of way. Man, Sting's beard is gnarly. I was about to shave but fuck that, I'm riding my beard out for the rest of the winter.
25. Wow, that's a nice crowd shot. There sure were alot of people there. Holy shit, look at how that broad is staring at Denzel Washington, she wants him bad. I bet if her husband caught her staring like that they would have a super awkward ride home after that.
26. Obama's back out with his michelle, talking about something or other.
27. So, the shows over and the credits are rolling while circus performers twirl on ribbons or some shit. I should pay attention to the credits, clearly these producers are the most important people in TV. Maybe I can pitch my awesome Hip Hop game show to one of them.
28. Well that was fun, I'm sure everyone on that stage feels super validated about thier career.
29. I can't wait to test out that electric blanket tonight. It has a remote!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
I noticed in the Houston Chronicle that there is a set of fueding, idiot organizations that have been throwing two seperate MLK Day parades and thus completely missing the point Dr. King was trying to make.
here's a quote from the story in the Houston Chronicle:
Saturday, January 17, 2009
From Crackle: Star-ving Ep 1 feat Ed O’Neill & David Faustino
"Married with Children’s" Bud Bundy (David Faustino) is back and with his side kick, Corin Nemec of "Parker Lewis Can't Lose", they poke fun at how pathetic thier lives have turned out. Also it's not a documentary, it's a comedic series. Check it out, it's pretty funny.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Whooo-Ha has and exclusive story about how Andre 3000's clothing line is in the crapper. I personally am shocked to find out that more people didn't want to buy clothes from him.
He’s addressing this Budden track below if you didn’t know, I personally have lost track of all of Budden’s beef’s, I don’t think I’m posting any more about this or any of his other problems, the next Budden post I make will be a review of his new album, Padded Room, whenever that finally comes out.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Only scarier and more depressing. It's a sad yet sobbering reminder of what's happening in a lot of the communities that hope forgot.
"Hood 2 Hood, The Blockumentary is an action packed film that takes you on a tour through America's highest crime rated neighborhoods.
Rich Kid Entertainment contacted all the underground hood connections from hoods across the country from California to New York, to the South and Midwest. Their connections opened the doors to their hoods and allowed them to capture the day-to-day actions of life in a crime-infested neighborhoods.
Film crews have never had access to footage like this, that includes everything from several pounds of marijuana and kilos of cocaine, fully automatic assault rifles, beatdowns, and thousands in cash earned in drug sales.
They traveled to over 29 different cities and neighborhoods that included the actual neighborhoods of today's top rap artists such as EMINEM (8 MILE), JAY-Z (MARCY PROJECTS), SUGE KNIGHT (ROSE CRANS ST), JUVENILE (MAGNOLIA PROJECTS), NAS (QUEENS BRIDGE PROJECTS) and many more.
This film contains exclusive interviews with real gang members, drug dealers, pimps and killers. Viewers be prepared to witness controversial and violent never seen before footage. Hood 2 Hood, The Blockumentary is reality T.V at it's best..."
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Jackson has also recently been quoted in several news sources as saying that "Maybe somebody else will be Nick Fury or maybe Nick Fury won't be in it. There seems to be an economic crisis in the Marvel Comics world so [they're saying to me], 'We're not making that deal.'"
Since a Black President is something I never thought I'd see in my lifetime, Obama's impending inauguration has completely opened up the realm of possibility in my mind.
I mean if he can get elected what other things might come to pass that I never dared dream of?
Seeing as how this is FISH and spaghetti (tell a friend to tell a friend if you haven't already) I thought I'd kick things off by telling y’all a true story about some real live FISH shit that unfolded at about 5:45pm est time Tuesday, somewhere in my magical palace AKA The lost City of ANTlantis.
I was smack in the middle of watching Clint Eastwood’s new flick Grand Torino on HD-BLD ( High Definition Boot Leg DVD) in my living room, and my daughter walks in and interrupts to ask “hey, can a catfish eat a turtle?”
Me being focused as hell on that HD-BLD responded, “nah turtles have shells, shits too hard” and waved the senorita off.
10 min later however, she returned with her friend and the same question, but this time she ended it with “oh well, I'm jus asking because the turtles’s not in the fish tank anymore and I didn't take him out”.
So I as I got up and made my way to the tank to have a peek, sure enough, that damn turtle was gone. Not a trace to be found. I also noticed the fat ass Redtail Catfish sunken in the corner lookin’ like somebody tied his tail to a brick and dropped him into the bottom of a river. I took a closer look and the brick that sunk his ass was our beloved RAINBOW the turtle!
I turned and said, “damn kid u was right, that fish ate that damn turtle!
So as the young ladies stood in shell shock (get it?) and eyes swelling up wit tears, ready to concede to the fact that RAINBOW the turtle was on his way to that big river in the sky, I said “y’all can't be serious, I'm not goin' out like that, yall ready for surgery?!"
They said “what?” And I said “what, are yall deaf?! I said are yall ready for surgery, because I lost too many good fish to the violence and cold world that is that fish tank (Exhibit A Pictured below, the recently deceased pet fish, "The President".) , I’m getting that damn turtle out of that damn fish now!”
And like good operating room techs that the girls followed all the directions and once I slipped those bad boys on, it was show time.
I scooped that fish out that tank, squeezed him by his fin and applied pressure to his jawbone until that bad boys mouth popped open and I could see RAINBOW floating around in the belly of the beast.
All wasn’t lost though because I noticed RAINBOW legs moving and I quickly told the girls to hand me a set of tweezers and I got busy.
I was able to grab young RAINBOW by his shell and pull him to his ultimate freedom. As RAINBOW slowly made his way back across that finish line from hell and the sweat dripped from my forehead, I turned to the girls and said “we did it…we made it yall...he’s alive."
The whole room burst into cheers, woo-haa’s and screams of YESSS!
And as I pulled the rubber gloves off all I could think was damn, that was some crazy shit, why didn't any body record that or take pictures while I was going in and they all politely laughed and called me crazy.
And they appreciated as I knew (hoped) you would. It crossed my mind to throw RAINBOW back into the cesspool and try to recreate his almost untimely death but this time prepared with cameras rolling but I said nah. I don’t got time for that shit, this was my only day off, they either gonna believe it or not, fuck it.
P.S. I'll be back, Oh yeah, ill be back, the saga continues...it always does.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
According to An Official Koch Records Press Release, Jim Jones, former Cam'ron "hypeman", and current "inexplicably hood rich-hit making-obnoxious-phrase coining-rap celebrity", has recently been appointed Vice President of Urban A&R Under for Koch "we allegedly pay our artist 8 dollars per album sold" Records, where Jones will be responsible for "signing and nurturing new talent to KOCH Records' urban roster".